So . . . You're Pregnant. Now What?

Your worst fears have come to fruition. You are pregnant and do not know what to do. You have so many options. Do I keep the baby? Do I have an abortion? Do I place the baby for adoption?

These are heavy questions you must think about long and hard before making any decisions. None of the answers to these questions should be considered lightly.

You must think . . . if I decide to keep the baby, how will I support him or her? Will the baby's father help support this child we created together? What will my friends/family think?

If I choose to have an abortion . . . am I sure that I am mentally/emotionally strong enough to handle any emotions that follow afterwards? What is the baby's father's opinion of this option? What will my friends/family think?

If I choose to place my baby for adoption . . . will the baby's father consent to the adoption? Am I mentally/emotionally strong enough to handle any emotions that follow afterwards? What will my friends/family think?

Are you noticing a pattern here? While it is important to know where the baby's father, your friends and your family stand on each of these issues, it is equally (if not more) important to think of YOUR emotions and feelings on them as well.

Keeping the baby is the most ideal. But if you are young and still in school, how do you plan to support the baby? Sure. The state you live in probably has programs such as Medicaid to cover the medical bills incurred during your pregnancy and the delivery of the baby, food stamps and WIC. But realisticly, will you qualify for these programs once the child is born or past the age where WIC can help provide nutritional assistance? Many birth mothers find that they do not. Many believe the baby's father will do the right thing and support the child he helped to create. Truth is, many do not. Where will you live? How will you be able to finish school? These are but a few of the questions you must consider before choosing to keep your child.

And what about abortion. Seems easy enough. Just a simple, outpatient procedure and it's over with. But what about you? Are you sure that you can handle the wave of emotions that often follow an abortion. Talk to others who have had an abortion. Ask them how they really, truly feel about it. Are they really okay with their decision to terminate a life? Would they do it all over again if faced with the same choice? I think you will find that most women who have chosen to have an abortion regret their decision.

Then you think about placing the baby for adoption. You think about what a wonderful gift you are giving to a couple who, for what ever reason, have been unable to have a child of their own. Many of these couples try for years to conceive a biological child, undergo painful and very costly procedures, only to find out they suffer from infertility. Your quandry could make a couple very happy. There is a great sense of self fulfillment and peace when you choose adoption.

There are so many options . . . so many questions you must ask yourself and search deep for the answers.

How can I make such a huge decision?

First you should seek out your family and friends for support. Talk openly and honestly with them. Find out how they feel about each of your options, but remember, the decision is ultimately your own.

Further, look around your community for support and counseling. In many cities you will find women's crisis centers that offer a wide range of services including, but not limited to, pregnancy testing to verify you are pregnant, counseling for you through your decision making as well as for once you've made your decision on how to proceed with the pregnancy. They help provide you with maternity clothing, baby items should you decide to keep your baby and referrals to adoption agencies. Most of these centers are run by local Christian organizations and do not offer advice regarding abortion, but many are willing to counsel you after having an abortion.

So you can see, you have many options to consider, and none of these options should be considered lightly.

Think about them.

Talk to your friends, family, pastor.

Talk to a trained professional.

All of these actions combined will help guide you to the best option for YOU.