Is Adoption The Right Choice For Me? Questions To Ask Yourself

You're leaning toward making the choice to place your child for adoption. Congratulations! Have you asked yourself the appropriate questions to know you are making the right decision?

Remember, Adoption is a permanent
decision. Once you have signed your consent to the adoption, you can no
longer change your mind.

Permanent
can be a scary thought. Your decision is forever. But, it is
important to remember that Adoption is a birth mother's (and birth
father's) ultimate act of courage and an undying love for their
child.

Why should you consider adoption? There are many reasons. Below are a few reasons:

• You do not believe in abortion.
• You are not ready to be a parent.
• You are scared that having a baby will hinder your plans for your future (college, career)
• You are putting your child's needs ahead of your own.
• You want your child to have everything that you are not able to provide for him or her.
• You want your child to have a stable, two parent home.
• Your current situation is not the best for a child.
• You already have children and the addition of another child will take away from your ability to provide for those children.
• You do not have a strong support system to help you care for the child.
• You do have a strong support system, but do not want to rely on others to help care for your child.
• The birth father is not a good influence for your child.
• The birth father is not supportive of you either emotionally or financially.

Once you have considered the above, now ask yourself the following questions before you make that first call to find an adoption professional.

1. Have I shared my plans to place my child for adoption with anyone (friends, family)?
2. How do the people I have shared my plans with feel about my decision?
3. If you have not shared your plans with others, how do I plan to tell them about my decision?
4. If anyone you have shared your plans with are not supportive of your decision, how can I educate them about adoption and help them see this decision is what is best for me and for my child?
5. How important is the opinion of those who disagree with my decision to place my child for adoption?
6. Have I thoroughly considered all of my options and am I confident this is the best decision for me and my baby?
7. How would my baby's life be if I choose to parent him or her?
8. Can I accomplish my goals for the future if I choose to parent my baby?

It is also important to remember that your decision is not yours alone. If you know who the birth father is, he should also be an important part of your decision making process. After all, this child is his creation also and he does have rights. Most times, the birth father is going through the same myriad of emotions as you. He may be scared for his future (as well as yours and that of your child). He may be concerned about how others will view your decision to place the child for adoption. Some things for you to consider with respect to the birth father as you are working through your own decision making process:

1. How will I approach the birth father to discuss my thoughts on placing our child for adoption?
2. Will the birth father be supportive in my decision to place our child for adoption?
3. What if he is not supportive of that decision? How will I feel if my decision is not to parent the child and he wants to take on that role by himself? If I agree to parent the child because of his desire to keep our child, what role will I expect him to play in my life and the life of our child?

You can see, there are many things for your to consider and many questions you must ask yourself when contemplating adoption for your unborn child. My advice is to not try to make this decision on your own. Seek out your family and friends for support. If your friends and family, in the beginning, are not supportive, then seek counsel with a professional. Look for crisis pregnancy centers in your community. They provide counselors to you free of charge. If there is no crisis pregnancy center in your area, look to other professional. Many state Health departments and Social Services departments may have counseling services. If you already have a relationship with a private counselor, seek him or her out to discuss your options. You may also contact an adoption agency or professional for guidance. But this option whould only be pursued if you are practically certain adoption is the certain decision you plan to make and are just looking for assurances.

Seek out a trusted teacher or school counselor. Talk to your pastor, reverend, priest. All of these people are willing to listen and guide you through your decision making process.